Charlotte and I stayed after our church bible study to play on the little play ground at church. She has been boycotting napping until the late afternoon so we had a few hours until then and Tuesday was just gorgeous. I grabbed an iced latte and we headed outside.

She climbed up and down the ladders and went down the slide. She swung on the swings on her belly and just played around in the grass. She ate her snack and drank her water.

We had no where to go, and little schedule to follow.

At one point, I was swinging on the swing, as she was swinging on the swing next to me on her belly. It was quiet, sunny, and peaceful. I thought, this is it. This is Motherhood. Why can’t it always be this fun and carefree.

I started to think about the baby growing inside me. Will we be able to have these moments when there are two? Is it all on me to keep things this “carefree”? Will I even be able to foster moments like this with two? Is it possible? Someone chime in here!!

Am I going to be worried about schedules and naps and getting everywhere on time? Or can we just swing and play and have no where to go.

I guess all of these questions are thoughts and worries I have about adding a second child into the mix. I really love what we have. I love the routine we have set up for our weeks. It’s predictable (for the most part).

Although raising a child is by far my hardest job to date, I feel like we’ve gotten a rhythm down. I love our relationship, too. I love the silly things she says, and the way she takes my hand when she wants to bring me somewhere or show me something. I don’t want it to change. I worry about losing out on our one-on-one time.

I guess it’s up to me to create those moments when the second comes along. Set aside days of fun where we don’t have to be anywhere at any time and there’s no pressure to do anything specific.

I thought I liked being really scheduled, and yes, I do like to be productive. Yet today, I realized, I also like just swinging on the swings with no where to be.

As I’m reflecting, I’m realizing my job now with two will be to embrace the changes, and allow for space without expectations. Baby two will probably not have all their naps at home (I would probably go crazy). And he or she will hopefully be flexible.

But I will also honor what fills me up as a Mother. Which may change! I guess we’ll see.

What worries do you or did you have bringing a second into the mix?

Moms with more than one, what did you learn when baby two came around ?