I need to write about what’s been on my mind while it's still fresh. This past weekend David and I went to the Rise Together marriage conference in Austin, TX put on by Rachel Hollis and Dave Hollis.

It was amazing to listen to them discuss their marriage, what helped them, and how they continue to work on it daily. Dave and I were encouraged to share big dreams with each other, as well as things we were holding back or just trying to figure out inside our own heads.

We left the weekend feeling invigorated in our relationship and ready to continue the conversation. We talked about our core values, and what it looks like to practice them.

I could go on and on, but really, it was just so beautiful to spend a weekend together to dream and connect.

Something was said this weekend that really resonated with me and I want to share it with you.

Rachel gave a metaphor about us women each being a pitcher full of water. What we normally do is continue to pour the water out of our pitcher for our partners, our kids, family, friends, and strangers. We keep tipping over our pitcher to pour it out, until it eventually falls over and breaks.

The flipside would be shifting your intention to continuously filling up your pitcher, so it will overflow onto your kids, your spouse, family and friends. Picture that: your pitcher overflowing to everyone you love.

This metaphor had me in tears.

Most times I put taking care of myself last. There’s always going to be a new need or cup to fill (literally and figuratively).

If I wait until everyone else is taken care of, I will never get to myself. My list of taking care of others is never-ending since there will always be something to do to make things right. If I take care of myself first, the excessive water will spread. I will have the energy, patience, and desire to give more to my family.

Honestly, I believe women are running and keeping the house in line whether you are home or working. If we don’t put our physical and mental health first, we won’t be able to show up for our families the way we want.

I talked about this the other day on Instagram, and I’ll share it here. Dave and I discussed some of the things we are calling our “non-negotiables”. These are the things we have to do daily to take care of ourselves.

For me, that looks like waking up at 5 to have coffee and quiet time, moving my body daily, fueling my body with real foods, and having a weekly date night. For you, it might be different.

When I pour into myself, it doesn’t take away what I have to give to my family. The irony is that I have more to offer when my needs are met.

And isn’t that what every parent and spouse wants most? To be able to love harder and give more to their families?

What are your “non-negotiables”? What are you going to do this week to take care of yourself so you can overflow to your loved ones?